As you’d expect when Ted’s involved, it’s a ludicrously early start. He’s meeting his mate Tony at King’s Cross, then I’m joining them for breakfast at the Regency Café, just off Horseferry Road, at 8.30. What should be a very simple journey, thanks to engineering works, today involves a bus and three tube lines. However, a gentle stroll from St James’s Park tube, deliciously empty on a Saturday morning, and I’m at the café just as Ted and Tony come wandering up Regency Street. The place is a wonderful Fifties timewarp that appears to be run by someone who loves both boxing and Spurs, judging by the memorabilia on the white tiled walls, and it’s unlike anywhere else we’ve been for breakfast in that you place your order, then go and collect it from the counter when it’s ready, rather than having it brought to your table. The woman taking the orders is a demure-looking, softly spoken blonde, but when the food is done she announces it in the most amazing teak-veneered baritone. My ‘TWO EGG... TWO TOAST’ sets me up nicely for the day ahead, while Ted and Tony pile into bacon, tinned tomatoes, black pudding, eggs and lovely crispy chips (I get to sample a couple...).
When we arrive at Victoria, he entrance to the tube station has been taped off and there are fire engines on the forecourt, but fortunately the rail service isn’t affected. Ted’s Plymouth-supporting chum, Geoff, joins us. As far as I know, it’s the first time he’s seen Darlo play since the FA Cup tie at Barnet last season, but he’s more concerned with discussing Plymouth’s failed bid for Adam Le Fondre. (Money plus Rory Fallon was apparently offered. We’d still rather have Alf.)
The ranks of our party are swelled further at Gatwick Airport. John Bell has used his air miles to treat himself to a flight from Manchester which, even with airport check-ins, saves travelling time. None of us particularly knows this part of the world (apart from Lewes, where Darlo played a cup tie a few years ago, and where the Gardener’s Arms subsequently became DAFTS Pub of the Year), so we admire the spectacular scenery of the South Downs and the strange chalk cliffs that appear just beyond Lewes.
Geoff’s friend Andrew, who lives in Eastbourne, is waiting at the station, as is Brummie Tony, who’s followed Darlo for years despite having no connection to the area. The main rendezvous point for everyone else we’re seeing today is the Eagle, a five-minute walk away, but Ted hasn’t managed to find out when it opens. John goes on ahead, while we pop into the Wetherspoon near the station. When we get the news the Eagle is open (or has landed, or something), we finish up and leave – just as Steve Duffy is ordering a pint! He, along with Geoff and Andrew, will catch us up.
In the Eagle, the boys have the choice of pint jugs (which Ted thinks are just plain wrong) or straight glasses. The place is fairly quiet, MK Dons v Hartlepool on the TV in the corner not being the biggest draw in the world, but soon begins to fill up with more Darloids. Along with the stragglers from the Wetherspoon, we gradually gather up Alisdair, a university friend of Steve, who now lives and works in Eastbourne, Steve’s brother, Martin and their Villa-supporting crony Pat, who’s something in East Sussex CAMRA. Ian Swallwell brings along a friend who’s a Brighton fan. Brighton should be playing Plymouth today, but the game’s off due to international call-ups, even though Geoff claims Plymouth haven’t got that many international players. Finally, Colin and his wife, Gill, arrive from Nottingham. Colin is going to be today’s ‘expert summariser’ on the radio commentary alongside journo Ray Simpson, and he’s taking the task so seriously that he’s not drinking and has a sheaf of research notes that would put John Motson to shame.
Ted needs to set up his camera equipment in good time, so Ian gives him, me and Tony a lift to the ground. It’s about three miles out of the town centre, and we manage to take a wrong turn somewhere in the housing estate that surrounds the ground, but a bloke walking his dog gives us very accurate directions and we find it without further problems.
The Langney Sports Club, where Eastbourne Borough play, is tucked away in the middle of a quiet residential area. You don’t know the ground is there until you’re right on top of it. As we’re walking towards the turnstiles, a rabbit is hopping around on a little track that leads behind the neighbouring houses, and I’m able to get pretty close to it before it finally gets spooked. Certainly not something you see every day.
Once inside, we find ourselves in a ground made up of low, covered cinderblock terraces and a main stand that takes us about two-thirds of the main stand. Pretty much what you’d expect from an outfit who are still part-timers. We find a spot just by the corner flag. There’s no segregation, though most of the Darlo fans appear to be behind the far goal. Their ‘band’ is certainly there, making themselves heard – not so much Four Poofs And A Piano as Four Darloids And A Drum. There are also quite a few Brighton fans in evidence, and when the crowd is eventually announced, it’s over 1400.
Darlo are attacking towards us, and they start in pretty lively fashion. This close to the action, you can hear everything that’s being said, and Eastbourne’s No 3, Neil Jenkins, has a few choice (and unrepeatable words) for the referee and his assistant, who looks about 16, whenever a decision goes against him. When Jenkins goes through Darlo’s Gary Smith with a tackle, the ref barely hesitates before getting out his red card. We think the decision was harsh, but we can’t help thinking it may be as much for what Jenkins has said as the tackle. Things go from bad to potentially farcical for Eastbourne a couple of minutes later. Their keeper, Rikki Bull, who’s already misjudged the number of Ks a grown man should have in his name, misjudges the ball he’s collection and handles the ball outside the area. The referee has no choice this time, and Bull gets second use of the soap. He’s replaced in goal by midfielder Matt Smart, whose long hair and sharp features make him look like the runt of the Gareth Ainsworth litter. Living up to his name, though, he makes a smart save from the free-kick the Quakers are awarded for Bull’s offence. ‘We might just scrape a point from this one,’ a Darlo fan mutters to Tony as he goes past to the gents’.
By this time, the natives at the side of us are getting very restless, and a couple of the boys fancy a pre-emptive half-time burger, so we move round to the snack bar. That’s where we’re standing when Chris Senior scores for Darlo. The Eastbourne defence let the smallest man in the team get in a header which gives Smart no chance.
At half-time, I join Ted, who’s set up his camera position behind the far goal. He gets a message from his contact at the Northern Echo, asking if he can take some shots of John Terry, who’s here today watching his brother, Paul. As Ted wanders off to perform said chore, I wonder if I should send some spec in the direction of JT. So far, he’s seemed quite capable of putting the spec on himself, but I do it anyway from force of habit.
As the second half begins, Darlo look confident. Paul Terry is controlling the midfield, and Paul Arnison is putting in some great crosses from the right wing, but none of the resulting shots are really testing Smart. Ted has a bit of banter with Gary Smith, who last season had long enough hair to need a headband. Ted lets him know the new short style is a vast improvement with the confidence only a man who hasn’t had his hair cut for the last several years can.
Meanwhile, I’ve been roped in as camera roadie, as Ted switches from one to the other, depending on whether he’s taking close-ups or action shots. It’s called earning my keep...
A young seagull settles on the terrace just behind us, and stands there for a minute or so. Seems like all the wildlife round here is strangely confident!
Darlo boss Mark Cooper, standing in his shirtsleeves on the touchlines, makes a couple of substitutions, taking off Liam Hatch and Jamie Chandler and bringing on Josh Gray and Richard Offiong, the latter of whom once very nearly came to Rotherham on loan, but if anything it’s Eastbourne who are starting to look the stronger team. Smart makes a save and punches away a ball with the surety of a man who’s played in goal before. It reminds me of going to see Darlo play Brighton when they were based at the Priestfield. Darlo’s David Preece was sent off, Carl Shutt replaced him in goal and had an absolute blinder, only for it to emerge later that Shutty had kept goal regularly in his youth.
I disappear into the ladies’. As I emerge, Tom Hark is playing over the Tannoy, so Eastbourne must have scored. Ted lets me know that Darlo have somehow managed to give the smallest man on the opposition side a free header from a corner.
After that, Darlo press for another goal, but a combination of Smart and the Eastbourne defence keep them out. At the final whistle, Smart turns to sarcastically applaud the Darloids who’ve been giving him a bit of gip during the game, only to find they’re giving him a genuine ovation for his efforts.
That said, the mood as we walk back to the car is pretty downbeat, not helped when I find out we’ve lost one-nil to Shrewsbury. In the pub, I get a text from Robert, telling me exactly what he thinks of the Shrews and their ‘cheating, time-wasting’ tactics...
There’s time for a quick one back at the Eagle before Ted, Tony, Steve, Martin and I head for the station. Steve and Martin are off back to Brighton for a home-cooked dinner courtesy of Martin’s missus. Ted gets chatting to some bloke with a tripod who turns out to be a birdwatcher, while Martin tells us about the walks he’s been talking over the Downs. (So now you know what rock musicians do in their down time...)
We bid farewell to the Duffy brothers at Lewes. After a nicely uneventful journey, it’s back home to go for dinner with Tony, who’s claimed a bed for the night before his early train back to Darlo, at our favourite curry house. A nice end to non-league day.
In the Eagle, the boys have the choice of pint jugs (which Ted thinks are just plain wrong) or straight glasses. The place is fairly quiet, MK Dons v Hartlepool on the TV in the corner not being the biggest draw in the world, but soon begins to fill up with more Darloids. Along with the stragglers from the Wetherspoon, we gradually gather up Alisdair, a university friend of Steve, who now lives and works in Eastbourne, Steve’s brother, Martin and their Villa-supporting crony Pat, who’s something in East Sussex CAMRA. Ian Swallwell brings along a friend who’s a Brighton fan. Brighton should be playing Plymouth today, but the game’s off due to international call-ups, even though Geoff claims Plymouth haven’t got that many international players. Finally, Colin and his wife, Gill, arrive from Nottingham. Colin is going to be today’s ‘expert summariser’ on the radio commentary alongside journo Ray Simpson, and he’s taking the task so seriously that he’s not drinking and has a sheaf of research notes that would put John Motson to shame.
Ted needs to set up his camera equipment in good time, so Ian gives him, me and Tony a lift to the ground. It’s about three miles out of the town centre, and we manage to take a wrong turn somewhere in the housing estate that surrounds the ground, but a bloke walking his dog gives us very accurate directions and we find it without further problems.
The Langney Sports Club, where Eastbourne Borough play, is tucked away in the middle of a quiet residential area. You don’t know the ground is there until you’re right on top of it. As we’re walking towards the turnstiles, a rabbit is hopping around on a little track that leads behind the neighbouring houses, and I’m able to get pretty close to it before it finally gets spooked. Certainly not something you see every day.
Once inside, we find ourselves in a ground made up of low, covered cinderblock terraces and a main stand that takes us about two-thirds of the main stand. Pretty much what you’d expect from an outfit who are still part-timers. We find a spot just by the corner flag. There’s no segregation, though most of the Darlo fans appear to be behind the far goal. Their ‘band’ is certainly there, making themselves heard – not so much Four Poofs And A Piano as Four Darloids And A Drum. There are also quite a few Brighton fans in evidence, and when the crowd is eventually announced, it’s over 1400.
Darlo are attacking towards us, and they start in pretty lively fashion. This close to the action, you can hear everything that’s being said, and Eastbourne’s No 3, Neil Jenkins, has a few choice (and unrepeatable words) for the referee and his assistant, who looks about 16, whenever a decision goes against him. When Jenkins goes through Darlo’s Gary Smith with a tackle, the ref barely hesitates before getting out his red card. We think the decision was harsh, but we can’t help thinking it may be as much for what Jenkins has said as the tackle. Things go from bad to potentially farcical for Eastbourne a couple of minutes later. Their keeper, Rikki Bull, who’s already misjudged the number of Ks a grown man should have in his name, misjudges the ball he’s collection and handles the ball outside the area. The referee has no choice this time, and Bull gets second use of the soap. He’s replaced in goal by midfielder Matt Smart, whose long hair and sharp features make him look like the runt of the Gareth Ainsworth litter. Living up to his name, though, he makes a smart save from the free-kick the Quakers are awarded for Bull’s offence. ‘We might just scrape a point from this one,’ a Darlo fan mutters to Tony as he goes past to the gents’.
By this time, the natives at the side of us are getting very restless, and a couple of the boys fancy a pre-emptive half-time burger, so we move round to the snack bar. That’s where we’re standing when Chris Senior scores for Darlo. The Eastbourne defence let the smallest man in the team get in a header which gives Smart no chance.
At half-time, I join Ted, who’s set up his camera position behind the far goal. He gets a message from his contact at the Northern Echo, asking if he can take some shots of John Terry, who’s here today watching his brother, Paul. As Ted wanders off to perform said chore, I wonder if I should send some spec in the direction of JT. So far, he’s seemed quite capable of putting the spec on himself, but I do it anyway from force of habit.
As the second half begins, Darlo look confident. Paul Terry is controlling the midfield, and Paul Arnison is putting in some great crosses from the right wing, but none of the resulting shots are really testing Smart. Ted has a bit of banter with Gary Smith, who last season had long enough hair to need a headband. Ted lets him know the new short style is a vast improvement with the confidence only a man who hasn’t had his hair cut for the last several years can.
Meanwhile, I’ve been roped in as camera roadie, as Ted switches from one to the other, depending on whether he’s taking close-ups or action shots. It’s called earning my keep...
A young seagull settles on the terrace just behind us, and stands there for a minute or so. Seems like all the wildlife round here is strangely confident!
Darlo boss Mark Cooper, standing in his shirtsleeves on the touchlines, makes a couple of substitutions, taking off Liam Hatch and Jamie Chandler and bringing on Josh Gray and Richard Offiong, the latter of whom once very nearly came to Rotherham on loan, but if anything it’s Eastbourne who are starting to look the stronger team. Smart makes a save and punches away a ball with the surety of a man who’s played in goal before. It reminds me of going to see Darlo play Brighton when they were based at the Priestfield. Darlo’s David Preece was sent off, Carl Shutt replaced him in goal and had an absolute blinder, only for it to emerge later that Shutty had kept goal regularly in his youth.
I disappear into the ladies’. As I emerge, Tom Hark is playing over the Tannoy, so Eastbourne must have scored. Ted lets me know that Darlo have somehow managed to give the smallest man on the opposition side a free header from a corner.
After that, Darlo press for another goal, but a combination of Smart and the Eastbourne defence keep them out. At the final whistle, Smart turns to sarcastically applaud the Darloids who’ve been giving him a bit of gip during the game, only to find they’re giving him a genuine ovation for his efforts.
That said, the mood as we walk back to the car is pretty downbeat, not helped when I find out we’ve lost one-nil to Shrewsbury. In the pub, I get a text from Robert, telling me exactly what he thinks of the Shrews and their ‘cheating, time-wasting’ tactics...
There’s time for a quick one back at the Eagle before Ted, Tony, Steve, Martin and I head for the station. Steve and Martin are off back to Brighton for a home-cooked dinner courtesy of Martin’s missus. Ted gets chatting to some bloke with a tripod who turns out to be a birdwatcher, while Martin tells us about the walks he’s been talking over the Downs. (So now you know what rock musicians do in their down time...)
We bid farewell to the Duffy brothers at Lewes. After a nicely uneventful journey, it’s back home to go for dinner with Tony, who’s claimed a bed for the night before his early train back to Darlo, at our favourite curry house. A nice end to non-league day.
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