Championes, Championes...

Another routine trip for the most part, spiced up by the fact that if we win (or at least don’t lose) today, we’ll be champions of League 2A, the league designed by ‘Soccer AM’ based on Luton, Bournemouth and ourselves starting the season with no points deduction. Helen Chamberlain is a bit of an icon among the London Miller boys, none of whom is in the least bit jealous that I’ve had my hands on her ankles, oh, no. (Before you ask, it was for a Coca-Cola photoshoot; I’m not some kind of peripatetic foot fetishist.) Perhaps if we win the trophy, she’ll speed up the M1 in her fancy sports car to present it.
And at half time it certainly seems as though that trophy is going to be coming our way. While we haven’t been as comfortable against the Magpies as we were at Meadow Lane over Christmas, we’re one-nil up, thanks to Mark Hudson, who had the most exquisite ball fed into his path by Mickey Cummins. Delroy Facey is still showing a lack of inclination to score against us, but Jonathan Forte, who we’ve also had on loan as part of Neil Warnock’s campaign to keep us in League One during the first of our recent spells in administratoin, is looking more lively. Reuben Reid doubles the lead, then we allow Forte to pull one back and it all starts looking a little more nervy. Still, the thought of that big, shiny trophy must be motivating the boys because they hang on for the win. League 2A is ours, hopefully for all time unless there’s another season where so many clubs have points deducted (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone, except maybe the plastic fans of the so-called ‘big four’ clubs, who really need to learn that there are much worse things in footballing life than not qualifying for the Champions League...).
In the Corner Pin in Donny, things take a very surreal turn. A games machine has been installed, and Jenny and I sit and watch a group of punters trying to solve some fiendishly difficult word puzzle. I’ve no idea what the clue is, but the answer appears to be ‘Pukka Pie’. We’re spotted by Mr Thorne Brewery, who comes over and asks where my husband is. It takes me a moment to twig that he means Steve, who I was with last time he saw me, so I clear up the confusion. This isn’t the first time I’ve been mistaken for the wife of one of the London Millers, the most worrying part of this being that past suspects have included my brother – more than once!
We’re joined by Tim for the journey back. As we get close to London, he decides to ring his brother-in-law, Ian, who lives not far from St Pancras, and see if he fancies a pint. Ian has travelled with us in the past when circumstances permit, but we haven’t seen him for a while. He’s up for it, so we ensconce ourselves on the comfy sofas at the Betjeman, along with Ted and John, who’ve been to watch Darlo at Chesterfield. Ted starts telling us about how their pub of choice, the Derby Tup, now opens half an hour later than advertised, and what they had to do to kill the intervening time. You can tell it’s going to be a quality anecdote when it includes the line, ‘Now, I’d never been to a Lidl before...’ It’s the perfect end to a championship-winning day, albeit one as spurious as League 2A. Though when you’ve had as rough a couple of years as Rotherham have, you’ll toast any kind of success when it comes. Cheers!