The Rise And Fall Of The Fishy People

Before the Grimsby game, there was much excitement among our ranks about the return of a true icon from Hartlepool. No, not Peter Mandelson - Richie Barker, back on loan with a view to a permanent move in January. Not only is he a legend because he scored a last-minute winner against the Wendys at Hillsborough, he's also, according to everyone who's had dealings with him, a thoroughly nice chap. We like him, though, because he's a dead ringer for the LMs' Andy Leng. Indeed, we were in the sponsors' area at Millmoor a couple of seasons ago and Richie, as he often did when he either the Monkey Hangers weren't playing or he was out injured, turned up to watch the game and ended up sitting next but one to Andy. I tried to take a photo for the 'separated at birth' section of the newsletter, but my camera started playing up and a weird strobing effect appeared on all the shots. Proof, to me at least, that if you find yourself next to your doppelganger, it creates a small vortex of evil which has the power to disrupt machinery...

The day began as home games do, with the meet-up at St Pancras and the usual AMT run (the best coffee concession, without question). Clarkey, who normally turns up for the 9.25 with about ninety seconds to spare, failed to do even that and made his way via Donny instead. Once at Sheffield, Steve D headed off to meet family at Meadowhell - his first ever visit there, apparently - and Jenny and I took the Supertram up to Shalesmoor and The Wellington, the closest pub to the tram stop. It's a gem - an old-fashioned backstreet boozer with eight real ales on, all at Yorkshire prices rather than the £3 a pint we're used to in London, and a big soft dog called Harley, though whether that's after the bike or the ex-Sheff U player, we're not sure. Mr Clarke eventually caught up with us, and was impressed.

For once, we tried to make it to the Don Valley Stadium in decent time - not only because we had to hoist the London Millers flag, which made its debut at the Under-21s championship in Holland and has since been seen almost everywhere in League Two which doesn't require you to have a fire certificate, but also because I wanted, if possible, to watch Monty warming up. Monty, officially Gary Montgomery but probably not even called that by his parents, is the player I sponsored for a couple of seasons when he was with Rotherham, and is, frankly, charm on a stick . He's one of two former Rotherham keepers at Grimsby, which is just being greedy if you ask me, but it's Phil Barnes who's currently getting a game, leaving Monty on the bench.

The match itself was the traditional two halves affair. Grimsby, who haven't won yet this season, started the game a lot more brightly, and took the lead after half an hour with a shot which may have been wind assisted. With the stadium being open on three sides, the wind is bound to play a large part in results, depending on whether you're kicking into it or not. Though we haven't seen a truly freaky goal yet, Alex Rhodes' winner against Luton being more of a misplaced cross than anything else, it can only be a matter of time. The natives were not happy, and booed the Millers off at half-time. They got a little bit happier when Rueben Reid (or Reubinho, as the man behind me called him) equalised with a header. Grimsby's confidence, which is obviously fragile, wobbled, then evaporated altogether when a shot from Man of the Match (and one of the Football League's official Team of the Week) Mark Hudson squirmed under Barnes' body. Mickey Cummins made it three with a shot from outside the area, and then the scene was set for Richie to come on as a sub and score within minutes. The home fans were singing 'We're not minus any more', our 17-point deduction having been wiped off with the win, and the ovation as the team came off the pitch proves how fickle we are. Zeroes (or sub-zeroes, given our points total before the game) one minutes, heroes the next.

Even having to 'de-train' at Kettering due to a faulty power unit, and board the stopping train coming up behind it, meaning we got into London an hour late, couldn't wipe away the warm glow that comes from three hard-earned points. Steve, who is LM Statto and can pick random facts out of the air with impressive ease, reckons that depending on how Bournemouth and Luton fare, we could be the only team never to have been on zero points at any time during a season. It's something to think about - but not for long with the Paint Pot Trophy game against Leeds on TV in a couple of days' time...